


A Momentary Lapse of Reality

by Celebrate_the_irony



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Dennis feels attacked more than anything, Dennis isn't aware he's being seduced, M/M, Mac is seducing, Season 12 spoilers, a very vague attempt at a fix it fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 05:43:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10269524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celebrate_the_irony/pseuds/Celebrate_the_irony
Summary: "Dennis is a grown man who doesn’t care, he doesn’t, he’s just happy that Mac has finally given up talking to him. Dennis has achieved self-actualisation solely because of this. He is a complete person who was not whining to Dee the other night about why Mac has chosen her over him, and he absolutely did not call her a man stealing avian whore with grotesque man hands. He is above all that, he’s in a better place now."Or Dennis is getting an intervention Season 12 Mac style





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little all over the place, but I did start writing this before the finale happened and then it did and I got bitter. So this happened, enjoy.

Mac hadn’t spoken to Dennis all week, and Dennis has never been more thrilled. No, really, fucking thrilled. No asinine conversations about which celebrity is more jacked, no mentions of insane karate beatdowns that happened only when Dennis had left the bar, not a single ocular pat down, not one. Dennis was overjoyed.

He didn’t know what he did to deserve such an honour. It just happened one day when instead of entering the bar with one of his idiotic ideas he just gave Dennis a pointed glare. He didn’t even drive in with Dennis, it was bizarre, it was also a blessing, but still bizarre. Mac has been driving in with Dee, which was even more surreal because Mac and Dee as a concept was always unrealistic at best, the fact they were actually honest to god getting along was unnerving.

But Dennis is a grown man who doesn’t care, he doesn’t, he’s just happy that Mac has finally given up talking to him. Dennis has achieved self-actualisation solely because of this. He is a complete person who was not whining to Dee the other night about why Mac has chosen her over him, and he absolutely did not call her a man stealing avian whore with grotesque man hands. He is above all that, he’s in a better place now.

However, he wasn’t allowed to stay in that better place apparently. He walked into the bar that morning to the stools arranged in a half circle in the centre of the bar, with one stool on the other side of that circle. Dee, Frank and Charlie were sitting in those stools with Mac standing in front of them. Dennis took a moment to assess the situation, his first thought was this was absolutely not going to end well for Dennis, normally he would be quick to take control over the situation but Mac looked like he had this on lockdown, and that was bad news all round. His second was confusion as to why Mac was wearing the glasses he wears for the DENNIS system, did he think he made him look distinguished? He looked like he got them for a dollar at Party City, he looked ridiculous. His third and final thought before being ambushed was wondering whether it was too late to turn around and just skip work today.

“Dennis, come sit with us.” Mac said in a calm voice that was anything but calming, the word that came to Dennis’ mind was foolish.

“Dude, you don’t have to go all Hans Gruber and shit. Just tell him to sit down.” Charlie scoffed through the mouthful of chips. He had a jumbo bag in his lap, this was not a good sign. 

“What’s happening here?” Dennis asked trying to be cavalier about the whole thing.

“Mac’s paying us to sit here and judge you.” Frank explained also with a mouthful of chips, he did not have a jumbo bag in his lap however, this was looking up.

“Oh, I’m not getting paid. I’m doing this for free.” Dee grinned maliciously.

“Well that’s just dumb on your part, Dee. I don’t know why you wouldn’t take the money.” Charlie said.

“No, I’m saying the satisfaction of insulting Dennis is worth far more than money.” Dee defended herself.

“Well no it’s not, you can’t just walk in the Wawa and go I insulted Dennis today I’m taking this beer.” Mac interrupted. 

“In the long run, spiritually, this is worth more than the five bucks you gave Charlie and Frank.” Dee reasoned.

“You could’ve had both though,” Frank put in his thoughts, this was the perfect time to walk away from this never to return. In act Dennis might just do that, he started to creep towards the door.

“You could’ve had both, you goddam troll.” Dee snapped.

“Ok, no, stop. I didn’t pay you guys to insult Dennis, Dennis sit down.” Mac ordered, Dennis sighed as he sat down on the stool.

“Is this not an intervention?” Charlie asked confused. This was worse than Dennis feared

“An intervention? Why in the hell would I need an intervention?” Dennis asked.

“Well there’s the raping.” Dee started. Jesus Christ.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute! There’s no need to bring that language in here.” Dennis quickly shut that down.

“The whole murder thing.” Charlie added.

“You made that up!” Dennis snapped.

“But you could have done it, you can’t say it’s unlike you to not murder someone.” Dee agreed.

“ _I_ could kill someone, excuse me? God only knows what Frank here has done and you just have to mention prostitution and you activate Charlie’s goddamn kill switch.” Dennis was getting a little heated and he knew it. He tried to breathe more steadily, he didn’t want to give any bait to these people.

“I feel like I haven’t been provided for in my old age.” Frank said frankly.

“Well that’s no one’s fault but your own, you share a bed with a forty year old man and eat cat food.” Dennis retorted.

“But I don’t feel a sense of security.” Frank looked genuinely worried for himself. Dennis almost pitied him, except he didn’t because, well, he’s still a goddamn asshole.

“That’s because you spent your retirement fund on hookers and blow, old man.” Dee piped up.

“If I could back to what I was saying.” Mac talked over the top of whatever Frank was about to defend himself with. “As we all know, I am a gay man, and speaking as a gay man, I am obviously more aware of people’s emotions than the rest of you.” Dennis had to stifle a laugh.

“I don’t think-“ Charlie started to interrupt before he himself was interrupted by Mac.

“And as a gay man, I am in favor of living your truth. And I sense that Dennis here is not living his truth.” Mac said as though that was a big impactful statement, it wasn’t at all.

“The hell are you talking about?” Dennis frowned.

“When have you ever lived your truth?  You were only just telling us about the kung fu move you ‘perfected’” Dee said using air quotes.

“I did! I so did!” Mac yelled

“You have never done a single karate move! You just wave your hands in front of your face! That’s not karate!” Charlie backed Dee up.

“That is so, it’s called Choku-zuki and I wouldn’t expect someone as uneducated as you guys to understand.” Mac said with a dramatic hand gesture to emphasis his point.

“You don’t know what that means, you just heard it in The Karate Kid.” Frank said matter-of-factly.

“So what truth am I not living exactly?” Dennis said in a hope to not listen to them argue about Mac’s karate ability for the next four hours. 

“Well that’s what I was wondering.” Mac said brightly, suddenly and easily distracted. “Because I could sense that you were hiding your truth, because as a gay man I can tell these things. So I looked around for something that would reveal your truth. And I found it in your tape collection” Mac said as though he was on the same level as Miss Marple.

“What a surprise.” Charlie muttered flatly.

“Gaayyy,” Dee said in that really annoying voice she does, the one that’s even more annoying than her regular voice.

“So hold on, you had a feeling I had been lying, you didn’t have any evidence to back that up I’m guessing, you could just sense it with your gay powers. And so with this feeling you went through my stuff without asking and then watched my sex tapes.” Dennis said less than impressed.

“I didn’t watch them, not a lot of them, just this one, the one labelled Mark Dunlap.” Mac said as he revealed a tape he had hiding somewhere about his person. Well this isn’t good, this isn’t good at all.

“Holy shit.” Dee said before breaking into peals of laughter. Oh great, Dennis always wanted his twin sister to know the lesser moments of his sex life. Thanks Mac, this is everything he could have wanted.

“Who’s Mark Dunlap? What am I missing?” Frank asked.

“He went to high school with us, goddamn it Dennis, you can pick them.” Dee chortled. Dennis wasn’t going to point out just how rich that was coming from her.

“I think all will become clear once I play the tape.” Mac said as he walked over to wheel the TV from the back of the bar over to them.

“You don’t have to.” Dennis said trying to remain as calm as possible, he knew exactly what was on that tape, and he wasn’t ashamed exactly. It was more that it was something Dennis hoped to never speak of again particularly to the gang.

“Well he kinda has to now, he brought it up, it’d be rude not to show it.” Charlie shrugged at Dennis. Mac had brought the TV over and put the tape in, he looked like a kid at Christmas which was not what the situation called for, and honestly raised so many questions. Dennis looked pointedly away from the TV. He could still hear it though. The sounds of some very messy very heavy making out. The fumbling as Dennis tried to take the dress he was wearing off.

“No keep it on.” Mark murmured.

“Whatever you say officer.” Dennis replied. Good lord, even at his lowest Dennis still found that he was incredibly attractive. The boobs looked ridiculous though, even Dennis was willing to admit that, he wasn’t sure why Mark got off on them so much. Although honestly, the thing he regrets most was keeping the red lipstick on, while hot at the time, there was lipstick everywhere afterwards. It took three washes to get it out of his sheets.   

Mac turned the TV before they saw something they might regret, although that line may have already been crossed.

“So, Dennis, you ready to admit your truth?” Mac asked. Dennis gave him the ugliest look. There were several things Dennis was ready to admit, all of them had to do with just how little his opinion of Mac was right now.

“I mean it’s cool dude, whatever you do is you, dude.” Charlie said. Oh good, the wisdoms of Charlie Kelly had arrived.

“It’s okay to be gay, Dennis. We’re not going to think any less of you.” Mac said soothingly and without any irony.

“You, of all people, did not just say that to me.” Dennis said.

“Is that seriously what you think boobs look like?” Dee asked.

“I don’t get it, are you a broad or is this another Mac?” Frank looked very confused.

“Just admit it, we’ll support you.” Mac said. This was too much. All this was way too much right now. Dennis needed to get out of here now. He got off his stool and stormed out of the bar, grabbing a beer from behind the counter as he left. This was way too much.  

* * *

Dennis was just sitting in his car drinking beer, Phil Collins was playing, he was a lot calmer than he was 10 minutes ago. He wasn’t sure what he was more annoyed at, having one of his lesser sex tapes being played in front of everyone, being outed in front of everyone, how smug Dee was, or Mac having the nerve to walk him out the closet. None of this was an ideal situation, what was worse was he had far better gay tapes that Mac could have found. But, of course, the one with the giant boobs had to be the one he played in front of everyone.

And where in the hell did Mac get off trying to take him out of the closet? A closet he wasn’t aware he was in, by the way. How many goddamn years did Dennis spend putting up with Mac’s gay situation? Or indeed putting up with Mac in general? And now he has the gall to go “it’s ok to be gay it's cool to live your truth”, and, by the way, who in the name of all that is holy taught Mac the phrase “live your truth” because it certainly wasn’t Dennis. Dennis did not approve of that at all, it was the most irritating self-righteous thing he had ever heard come of Mac’s mouth and he had heard a lot of shit from that man.

God, he wasn’t even going to mention that no one seemed to know he was into men? Dee might have picked up on it but who cares? Mac was the one he was most annoyed about, surely he must have known. Surely he must have picked up on it, they lived together for Christ’s sake. Dennis knows that he was pretty deeply closeted but retroactively he must have realised, Dennis had hoped he had realised.   

Dennis was thrown out of his thoughts when there was a knock on the passenger seat window. Mac was there, no glasses, looking guilty. Dennis continued to sip his beer, and ignored him.

“Aw come on, dude. Let me in.” Mac groaned. He was doing that squint he does that makes Dennis think he looks like if Clint Eastwood never got famous. Which strangely Dennis also thinks it’s a good look on Mac.

“Please, bro?” Mac pleaded. Dennis rolled his eyes and unlocked the door. Mac climbed in with all the grace of an injured seagull. “So, you living your truth yet?”

“Get out of my car.” Dennis quickly retorted.

“What?” Mac asked obliviously. The fool, the goddamn fool, Dennis took a deep breath in to stop himself from tearing Mac to shreds. “I don’t get why you’re so worked up about this.”  

“You don’t get it?” Dennis said slowly.

“No, I don’t. I mean what’s to get?” Mac asked casually.

“So your whole gay man with a super human ability to pick up sensitivities act isn’t sensing anything?” Dennis clarified. Mac shrugged at him. Good lord. “So you rummaging through my private tape collection and showing the gang possibly the worst one was mean to prove what?”

“That was your dildo bike! That was pushing you to admit who you are!” Mac said as though he was a genius in the field of psychology and not a goddamn asshole.

“You didn’t think of asking did you?” Dennis pointed out. “It never crossed your mind to just ask me if I liked men.”

“Of course not, I never would have admitted it, why would you? You needed the drive to push you to your gay limit!” Mac said. Oh my god.

“What are you talking about? Of course I would have, I’m not you! I didn’t need to be dragged kicking and screaming by my goddamn dildo bike, you just had to fucking ask and I would have gone why yes Mac I’m bisexual thank you for noticing.” Dennis snapped.

“Since when would ever-“ Mac shook his head at him.

“What do you mean since when? I’ve told you several times and every goddamn time you talk over me with bible verses.” Dennis countered. This was ridiculous, and he couldn’t believe he was thinking it, but closeted Mac was far less annoying than out Mac.

“Well, that was old me.” Mac defended himself.

“That was a month ago.”

“The point is you’re free to be yourself.” Mac talked over the top of him. God, Dennis missed when he had power over Mac, what happened to that?

“When have I not been myself? What are you talking about? And why are you even talking like that what’s with the Dr Phil get up?” Dennis was getting more and more irritated by the second.

“Talking like what?” Mac feigned confusion, he is the worst actor, Jesus Christ.

“Why were you even in my tape collection anyway, it can’t be because you had a hunch. What’s the motive here?”

“Is it so wrong to want you to be happy?” Mac’s defence was weakened. Dennis glared at him, the good ol’ I will scratch your eyes out glare. “I just... I want you to like me. I feel like since I came out you’ve been emotionally cutting yourself off from me and I thought the rocket launcher would fix that but it didn’t. So I went looking for something I could use that would bring us back together.”

“And you thought sex tape.” Dennis finally said.

“You did it to me and it worked fine for me! I don’t know what your problem is.” Mac looked frustrated. He had no damn clue.

“Bro, I’ve been out since college, you’ve been in there for forty years. We had to resort to dildo bike, nothing else was going to get you out.” Dennis said. They delved into silence for a moment as Mac didn’t seem to have a response to that. He looked like he was thinking about something, Dennis didn’t want to hear it to be perfectly honest. He had already had one hell of a day and it was only eleven.

“Fuck it, that was a lie too, I want us to start fucking.” Mac said bluntly. If Dennis wasn’t so damn dumbfounded he would have said that was the worst seduction he’s ever experienced.

“I- what?” Dennis spluttered out.

“Oh come on, bro. Don’t give me that, we’re already dating pretty much, why not just get it over and done with.” Mac scoffed. What the hell was he talking about?

“Dating?”

“Are you serious, dude?” Mac laughed. This was unbelievable.

“This is not a thing!” Dennis yelled at Mac.

“It so is dude, I don’t know how you don’t see it.” Mac retorted.

“When you decide this?” Dennis was still yelling indignantly, he was so offended, he’d like to think if he started dating Mac, he’d fucking know.

“Well when I came out I started thinking like, why is Dennis so desperate for me to come out?” Mac started to explain.

“Because you were so goddamn annoying!” Dennis tried to defend himself but to no avail, Mac continued on anyway.

“Is it? Or was it because you wanted me? Which, I didn’t even consider until you stripped for me,”

“I did what?” Dennis frowned.

“You know, when I went into the living room and you danced for me.” Mac explained. Dennis felt so dirty hearing that, he needed a damn shower.

“That… that was a joke.” Dennis said weakly. Shit, why did he even do that? He didn’t know, it was a good idea at the time.

“So then I thought like what if he wants me, but he doesn’t know he wants me? So like obviously I go into full romance.” Mac said as thought that was a skill he possessed.

“Was the lap dance from Dee’s stripper part of the romance?” Dennis asked.

“Dude, don’t be jealous. It’s not a good look on you.” Mac said sleazily. Jesus Christ.

“I’m not goddamn jealous, I have nothing to be jealous about we’re not dating!” Dennis snapped. He was a little jealous if he was being completely honest, but he wasn’t going to give Mac the satisfaction.

“So then I get the rocket launcher for you for Valentine’s Day because I’m in romance mode here, and I saw the look in your eyes and, Dennis I didn’t believe it myself, but there was love in your eyes. Pure love.” Mac said wistfully.

“There was not, don’t be so goddamn ridiculous.” Dennis grumbled. It wasn’t love it was shock that someone actually remembered him for once, no need to bring goddamn love into it.

“So now I’m like maybe he doesn’t even know he can have feelings for men, let alone for me, so I had to go looking for something that would bring you out of your closet and into me.” Mac said crassly.

“Oh my god.” Dennis said, never feeling so annoyed. Deep breaths, in two three four, out two three four.

“And I found Mark’s tape and I was like this is it. This is the one.” Mac said proudly as though it wasn’t a huge invasion of privacy.

“And what?” Dennis said.

“Well you’re out of the closet. But you’re not into me yet, which is a downer.” Mac finished.

“Yeah, real bummer.” Dennis said sarcastically.

“But you know, being in romance mode and all, I have a plan.”

“Do you have to?” Dennis countered. Mac gave him a look, a look that said that Mac was the one in charge here now, Dennis didn’t like it at all.

“I mean I was going to show you later but I guess I could show you now. I’ve been fixing up the apartment.”

“What, Dee’s? And she let you?” Dennis scoffed.

“No, ours.” Mac corrected him. Oh yeah, Mac said he was going to do something about that. Dennis didn’t listen to him though because he regularly says shit like that and he never goes through with it. Mac was looking at him expectantly.

“What?” Dennis asked confused.

“You need to drive there so I can show you.” Mac said as though it was obvious. Dennis rolled his eyes as he started the car up.

“There better be God himself at our apartment.” Dennis muttered. Mac laughed, _laughed_ , how dare he?

* * *

The drive there Mac grinned this undeservedly self-confident grin. It was the most irritating thing, actually the most irritating thing was Mac deciding they were madly in love and destined to be together. Where did Mac get off deciding something like that? It was absurd to think what kind of person Mac had turned into, Mac would never have tried to pull this shit last year. Mac could have tried but Dennis would have shut that down pretty quick. Which also brings Dennis to the point of why is he not currently trying to shut this down? He wanted to say because if he kills Mac in the apartment he won’t ruin his upholstery, but honestly, he’s never been seduced before. And although this is the shittiest attempt at seduction he’s ever seen, this is hardly on Jon Cusack’s level, he wanted to see where it went. This could get interesting. Or it could crash and burn, either way both are worth seeing to the end.

By the time they got to their door Mac was hopping from one foot to the other, Dennis almost found it endearing until he remembered he still found Mac annoying at best. Mac put the key in the door and turned it. He threw it wide open.

“Ta-da!” Mac grinned. Dennis stepped into the apartment. It looked exactly the same.

“It looks exactly the same.” Dennis said confused.

“Yeah dude, before the fire destroyed everything.” Mac said excitedly. Oh. Dennis gets it now. Wait.

“You repaired everything?” Dennis asked.

“Dude no, I just found replicas.” Mac said as though that was any easier. Mac stepped into Dennis’ field of vision. “Do you like it?” Mac asked biting his lip. Dennis did actually, he liked it a lot. He was getting emotional just looking at the place. Was he going to admit that however? No, it’d be a cold day in hell before he did that. Suddenly Mac did a fist pump. “I knew you would!”

“I didn’t say anything.” Dennis frowned.

“I know you, dude, if I did anything I actually wanted to do with the apartment you’d freak out.” Mac said cheerfully. This self-aware Mac was not a Mac Dennis was on board with. “Plus you had that look in your eyes.”

“Look, what look?” Dennis asked, he needed to know exactly what this look was so he could eliminate it from his facial vocabulary ASAP. He doesn't need Mac knowing his feelings.

“You seduced yet?” Mac asked suddenly, oh for fuck’s sake.

“Of course I’m not seduced, sure it’s impressive and it makes me feel like I have a home again and it brings me back to the good ol’ days when there was monthly dinners and movie nights and Dee was nowhere in sight. And I can’t believe you remember every piece of junk in our apartment, stuff I didn’t even think you liked and you must have fucking sold your soul to get your hands on it. And you can’t have done that for you because I know you wouldn’t want half this stuff back, so you must have done all that for me. But I’m not seduced.” Dennis denied, he didn’t know where all those feelings came from. He didn’t have them when he started talking. Mac was beaming at him.

“Den, you’re tearing up.” Mac murmured. Jesus Christ, no thanks. Not today.

“I will smack your goddamn teeth off.” Dennis muttered back, he didn’t have any conviction behind it however.

“So is this a good time to mention I could only afford one bed?” Mac asked, well that moment had gone. Dennis scowled at Mac. “All this junk wasn’t cheap, dude, I could only afford your bed after fixing everything else up.” Mac defended himself. 

“So what’s in your room?” Dennis asked after thinking about it for a moment.

“You don’t want to kn-“

“It’s dildo bike isn’t it?” Dennis interrupted.

“Dildo bike is Plan B in case this doesn’t work.” Mac admitted.

“Oh my god.”

“What? I’m living my truth, bro.” Mac said in an annoyingly confident voice.

“Stop saying that, where did you even pick that up?” Dennis finally snapped.

“I was reading this book on interventions, so you know I had an excuse to out you in front of everyone, and it had that on the cover of it.” Mac explained.

“You only read the cover didn’t you?” Dennis didn’t expect anything less to be honest.

“It just had so many boring words, I couldn’t do it.” Mac shrugged.

“And let me guess, the author was wearing glasses on the back of the book.” Dennis said.

“How’d you know?” Mac asked amazed. Good lord.

“So are you still in romance mode? Are you done yet? Can I get back to the bar now?” Dennis asked kinda bored of this now. The emotions had been had, time to move on.

“Aw come on, dude, aren’t you even a little emotional about all this effort I put into for you.” Mac pouted, here he was a forty year old man, pouting at him. Unbelievable.

“Sure but that was two minutes ago, I’ve moved on.” Dennis shrugged.

“You’re messing with me right?” Mac asked, there was a hint of desperation about it. Dennis shook his head, unaffected by all this. “Come on, I fixed the apartment up, I got you a rocket launcher, I even fixed up Mr. Tibbs for god’s sake.” There was a sudden silence in the air, no way. There was no way he said what he just said.

“You what?” Dennis asked croakily.

“Oh! I didn’t show you! Yeah me and Dee broke into your mom’s old house, dude. We had to sneak past this rich family I did some awesome Mission Impossible style tactics, Dee was such a load, it was a whole thing. But Mr Tibbs was in the attic, I totally stole him and sewn up back up for you.” Mac said proudly as he wandered off into Dennis’ bedroom.

“How did you even know about Mr. Tibbs?” Dennis asked.

“Oh dude, Dee totally wants us out of her place, it’s kinda sad actually how unused she is to human contact. But like she helped me set up the apartment and with Mr Tibbs so you’d move in with me. Oh there was also something about your mom’s necklace being at the old house. I don’t know I didn’t listen.” Mac continued on as he walked out of the room holding a mostly in tact Mr Tibbs. 

“Oh my god.” Dennis said as Mac presented it to him.

“I mean it’s a little rough cause I don’t know how to sew but it’ll hold.” Mac shrugged. This was a lot to take in, he could shrug off the apartment but this, wow. Mac really cared about Dennis, a lot.

“I can’t believe you did all this. I- thank you.” Dennis stuttered out.

“It’s all good.” Mac said.

“I’ve never been seduced before.” Dennis admitted.

“How’s it feel?” Mac said cockily.

“I didn’t say I was seduced now.” Dennis snapped.

“Didn’t have to.” Mac smirked. Good lord, this was the man Dennis was supposedly destined to be with, destiny has a fucking sick sense of humour. “Do you wanna put Mr Tibbs down and we’ll test out the new bed?” Mac murmured as he kissed Dennis softly on the lips. This was so weird, and Dennis was so into it. But it was probably wise to readjust the situation so his future self wasn’t completely fucked over.

“You know what you’ve had your fun, I’m not going to take orders from you like your goddamn sex slave. I’m in charge here.” Dennis pulled away in a vain attempt to bring back some normalcy to the situation.

“Whatever you say Den.” Mac said as he started kissing Dennis’ neck, oh god.

“And I say I put down Mr. Tibbs and we test out the new bed.” Dennis said, he then realised he had one hell of an opportunity here. “However, that’s not happening unless you get rid of dildo bike.”

“What?” Mac yelled deeply offended.

“I’m not living anywhere near that thing.”

“It’s a revolution in gym equipment, dude, we could make millions!” Mac protested. As if anyone in their right mind would buy that thing, and as if no one has invented something similar yet.

“It’s a bike you fuck yourself on.” Dennis retorted.

“And helps you get fit at the same time.” Mac added on as if that justified anything.

“Just fuck me if you want that.” Dennis scoffed. He should not be having to point that out.

“I’m not going to make millions off of fucking you though.” Mac quickly responded.

“How dare you? The experience you will get from this body is worth more than any goddamn fuck bike. And-“

“You got to keep Mr Tibbs.” Mac interrupted Dennis’ rant.

“Are you seriously comparing the only good thing about my childhood to a fuck bike?” Dennis asked incredulously.

“Fine, fine I’ll get rid of it. Can I at least give it one last workout?” Mac asked sadly.

“I can’t believe you are choosing to fuck the bike over me!” Dennis shrieked. He has never been so disrespected in all his life.

“God you’re so demanding.” Mac smirked before wrapping his arms around Dennis.

“Are you winding me up on purpose?” Dennis demanded to know.

“You’re funny when you’re mad. And it’s kinda hot seeing you all worked up like that.” Mac purred, oh my god.

“Get rid of the bike.” Dennis said as he pulled himself out of the mess Mac had dragged him into. Mac somehow managed to kiss him on the mouth before he left. It was a hard kiss, one that demanded to be remembered. Dennis was not expecting that from Mac at all.

This was odd, in hindsight Mac was right this was an inevitable thing to happen, but Dennis always thought he was going to be the one to initiate it, he was going to go up to Mac and go we’re fucking now and Mac would just go with it. He never thought Mac would be the one to go we’re a thing now. He never thought Mac would want him badly enough, if he was being honest. But it was nice, this was nice, he liked this a lot. He liked Mac a lot, he liked how Mac wanted him a whole lot more. This was one hell of a Tuesday.


End file.
